Every since I was a little, I found the interactions between boys and girls incredibly interesting. I was fascinated by how they manipulated each other to acquire a desirable outcome. What struck me the most was when I grew older, I couldn’t figure out why certain couples stayed together when it was clear to both parties, they weren’t good for one another.
From unsatisfying relationships to ones involving domestic abuse, it boggled my mind trying to understand why anyone would want to stay in such an unhealthy environment and put themselves and others at risk. With divorce parents and growing up in less than ideal relationships, I guess you can say, I’ve witness a lot of unstable relationships. I’ve been in relationships with guys who left at the first sign of commitment, ones who wanted me to obey his desires and give up my identity, and even ones who tried to change almost everything about me to fit their idea of a significant other.
What is it that makes us stay? Why sit through the abuse, whether it was emotional, psychology, or even physical? Why stay with someone when the fights seem to last longer than the happy moments? And you only break up to make up and start the emotional roller-coaster all over again?
Is it because you love them? Or because you think they love you? Is it because you’re afraid of being without them? Or are you really afraid of being with yourself? Is being on your own that much worst than being with this person who makes you unhappy? How did we deny all of the signs and every, single red flag? Did we really think they were going to change just because we love them?
So why stay?
Inspired by my own dating experiences, hearing about others talk about theirs, & conversations with Alex Tran