What happened to romance?

 The idea of “dating” has transformed more in the past decade than in the last fifty years. With the rise of the hook up culture, young men and women are open to participating in consensual sex and labels of “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” are merely commodities. As happy as I am that the members of my generation are redefining social boundaries, I can’t help but wonder: how will this affect the future generations? What will happen to dating as a whole from this point on?

Romantic gestures and courtship feels like a distant past. Hand-written love letters are replaced by impersonal text messages. People are asking each other out through Facebook messages and emails. One night stands and casual hook ups are the new norm and the only way to escape this exhausting hunt for love is to take a chance with blind dates or sketchy online dating (and risk the chance of being cat fished!).

What is the idea of romance? What does it even mean to be romantic anymore? Why do we only see a guy walking the girl to her front door and asking for a good night kiss in romantic comedies and not in our neighborhoods? Is it too much to ask a guy to buy his interest flowers just because? Are all of these traditional methods of courting a thing of the past? Are gentlemen and ladies a dying breed, inching closer and closer to extinction?

More and more people are getting lazier when it comes to love and relationships! They’ve lowered their standards and girls, nowadays, are “shocked” that a guy has opened the door for them, when that was to be expected during the 1950s. As great as it is that we are steering away from early marriages and focusing on our professional careers, the progression of this hyper sex-focused generation has heavily affected our standards of dating and this is not acceptable.

Personally, I identify myself a part-time feminist and a full-time business woman, but when it comes to love, I am as hopeless and romantic as they come. Although I may be very liberal with my idea towards reproductive health and how women should be more aggressive with what they want, my idea of dating is both traditional and conservative. I believe that if someone is really interested in you, guy or girl, they should take the initiative to show it and attempt to court you. (Just to clarify, I am not encouraging the social exchange of one party “buying sexual favors” from the other by a.) paying for dinner, b.) buying them a drink, c.) buying jewelry, shoes, and/or gifts, or d.) all of the above.) What I support (and miss about traditional/old school styles of dating) are the butterflies, the excitement about meeting someone you’re interested and learning about them, and I mean really learning about them before hoping into their beds.

Dating, today, is entirely frustrating and disappointing. I often find myself questioning my date’s intentions and expectations of our time together and I can’t help but wonder, was dating always this hard?


I hope this post will initiate a desire to bring romance back into your relationship! For my single counterparts, I hope that this will remind you that you should not settle for anyone that is not willing to make you feel loved and special! There is no need to rush into a relationship! There’s a quote that I hold very dear to me and that is “love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely”. (I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in…) It is very important that each and every one of us understands our self-worth. I will go more in depth about this in a later post but I hope this will help kick start conversations and set high expectations for your future partners! Make them work for it because you’re worth it!



Inspired by horrifying dating experiences


One Reply to “What happened to romance?”

  1. Melissa, I enjoy reading your blog. You conjure interesting topics that causes discomfort to those unaccustomed to using their cortex for more than linguistic interpretation and satisfying imbalances. I absolute agree with you that “dating” has evolved over the years, but the issue is still a semantic one despite the shifting paradigm in traditional family model.

    Liked by 1 person

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