It’s difficult what you’re doing… You try to undo all the hurt and damage, but it feels like it’s too much. You struggle as you maneuver through your hard wiring, trying to understand the reasoning behind your stupid decisions. You work to develop new, healthier habits as you try to break your vicious cycle. You want to mend everything that evidently brought you down and make sure that it will never, ever happen again. You want to fix all of your mistakes but more importantly, you just want a clean slate.
Take a breath because you’re already back on your path again; the one that you’re meant to be on and the same one that will lead you to better days. You’re trying to be a better person than before and I know it’s tough. I’ve been there too. They think you’re crazy and call you a “loser” for not wanting to stay out all night and come to work hung over like you did before. They snicker and accuse you of thinking that you’re better than them.
It’s a lonely road you’re on and it’s only going to get lonelier. On this journey towards revelation, the toughest thing you have to do is come to terms with the loneliness and rejection from those closest to you. Not only will they not understand what you’re trying to do, some will even go as far as go against you and threaten everything you’ve built. It can get unbearable at times, accepting the ones you love are too closed-minded and pessimistic to believe in you. Cutting ties is a hard thing to do but it’s absolutely necessary. It’s the walking away part that will fill you with remorse and causes you to doubt your journey. Try your best to stay strong when you’re feeling this way.
When it gets hard, remember that you’re trying to start a new journey, one that will lead you to a better you; someone that you will be proud of and happy to be with. That’s not easy either because out of all people, you know all of the stupid mistakes you’ve made. The bad judgment calls and terrible, TERRIBLE decisions that still send chills up your spine every time you think about them… Try to move on and leave behind that dark place. And yes, sometimes you can be reckless, but remember to be kind to yourself and learn to forgive yourself. The important thing is that you don’t want to be that person anymore and that’s the first step on your journey towards renewal.
To be someone who stands tall with confidence and poise, you’ll have to learn to get up after a big fall and dust off all the mistakes you have made. Adjust yourself and keep with you the entire new lessons you’ve learned. Be someone who others can’t seem to find a flaw in, not because you’ve portrayed a false sense of perfection, but because you’ve earned their respect and they respect you that much. Be someone who others are excited to meet because they’ve heard so many wonderful things about you and they’re not only saying that to be polite.
Know that every decision you’ve made so far means something, and acts as a brick for the empire you’re trying to build. Believe that every time you stayed in, instead of partying all night and regretting it the next morning, will pay off. Trust yourself that every time you stood up for your ideals and held onto your morals, no matter how easy it would have been to give into the temptation, reflects you to be a strong, hard-working person and one with high integrity.
I know out of all people, sometimes, we need a little affirmation. It is not because we need public approval, no. Conformity is why many of us have diverted from our paths towards greatness. It is important to be reminded and believe that what we do actually matters. To know that what we’ve done means something is one of the most rewarding and relieving feelings in the world.
If you were to take anything from this post, leave with the understanding that you are special. You’re different in every amazing way possible. The fact that you are taking the time out to read a personal development blog shows that you believe in becoming something more than what most people want to do. You are not a social zombie, living to only do whatever you were told. Instead, you are your own person.
I know that it probably sucks for you now, all of the bad luck, stupid complications, and nonsense that weigh you down. I get it. The important thing is that you’re working to deal with them. Not many people can do that. In fact, very few people are aware of their situation and how their actions not only affect themselves but other people.
Your hard work, dedication, and passion are all going to help you build something great. You may not see it now, but it will come together and make more sense later on. I promise! You just have to exercise patience. Hold onto your beliefs! Stay true to your morals and values. Keep that smile on your face and that fire in your heart. What you are doing now is organizing and putting together the pieces of a puzzle. Before you know it, you will be able to see a clearer picture, one that you’ve laid out for yourself. What’s in that picture, however, is what you make it out to be.
Stay strong & stay inspired,
Inspired by the following quote from ABC’s Mistresses,
This thing, perspective, the idea that everything that we’re going through, it’s not really as big as we think it is. It all seems so important until it doesn’t.
And a special thanks for my Guest Editor, Brian O’Connor!